Violet Evergarden

Luca and I have been having a "guys night", where just him and I spend time together. Usually we play Minecraft, watch a show, play a board / card game, go out for a treat, or something like that.

For a few weeks, we've been watching Violet Evergarden, an anime about a young woman who has difficulty with emotions, both expressing and identifying. While not explicitly autistic, she does have autistic attributes, like the difficulty with emotions. So I think her struggles resonant with Luca, and it provided a good opportunity to talk about these issues while providing experience of another person with the same difficulties.

The show also provided him an opportunity to see me get emotional - many of the episodes are tear-jerkers for various reasons. At times, I noticed him looking at me to see what I was expressing. Usually young children do this to understand and model emotions, and Luca is just doing this now.

One of those moments was in the special episode ("episode 14"), where Violet is asked to write a love letter for an opera. The lyrics are very touching and remind me of people I've lost, to death and other circumstances, including our foster child. I think I might print out some of the lyrics and post it on our memorial wall. I couldn't find them online, so I thought I'd post them here. (If you haven't seen the show, I highly recommend it.)

Letter from Marietta to Modesto

Just listening quietly,
To the wind in the sky,
Together.
[But] you're no longer here with me.

But the words I've written,
Over and over,
Have flown as if they were feathers
And disappeared.

Love is always
In a sunshine-filled place
Even if I can't see you,
Can't touch you,
It's like you're by my side.

[woodwind solo]

Just softly speaking,
[The] trees in the forest
[In] the rain,
As if to cheer me up.

Walking upon
The yet damp
Ground,
A road to be.

Love is always
Like looking through clear water.
Go to accept it,
And it leaves,
Just like you.

[instrumental]

Love is always
In a sunshine-filled place.
Even if I can't see you,
Can't touch you,
It's like you're by my side.

We remember those who have left us, and cherish their memories. They are a part of us, and made us who we are.

April Feels

I'm feeling a bit emotional right now.

I just finished watching "Your Lie in April", an anime about a boy who stops playing piano after his mother dies and finds hope again upon meeting a girl who plays the violin.

I thought, "Wow, an anime about musicians inspiring one another. That should be good."

22 episodes later, and half of them with tears somewhere along the way, I couldn't have been more right. 5 stars on Netflix? Hell yes. Amazing show. It inspired me to play piano better, and it reminded me of a dear friend.

At the same time, I've been listening to this song from a video game, Valkyria Chronicles, called "A Loved Passed On" (the link is to a spoiler-free version). Short and bitter-sweet, it's sung at a funeral.

"And now, the love that you gave me, blooms and will live on..."

Both of these stories deal with death. But they also deal with the life that remains and how to move on, and remember those who came before us.

And that life comes, anew.

Like tomorrow. Tomorrow, of all days in April, is the best day. The day my little girl was born, one of the sparks in my heart that gives me life and love.

And we remember those who came before. Luca and Astrid Rose, you two are the hope for tomorrow, and the remembrances of those who came before you.



P.S. She's walking now!



P.P.S. Now that she can walk, she's pulling herself up to play piano with me! *double-feels*

Inside a Ring Cycle

One interesting theme I wanted to report: We seem to be stuck in a Wagner Ring Cycle of sorts. It all started when I bought Valkyrie Profile 2. We decided that it was likely we wouldn't be able to find Valkyrie Profile (the original - it's very rare), so we went ahead and played it anyway. When we finished, we thought it was so good that we just had to find the original, somehow, even if it meant emulating it.

An aside: The Valkyrie Profile games (just 1 and 2, 3 seems to be an oddball) are incredibly interesting because in each the main character is a valkyrie who recruits dead heros for Odin's holy army in a fight against the giants at Ragnarök. The 2nd game takes a different twist on this idea, by encountering spirits of already-dead heros and recruiting them well after their deaths. In the 1st, however, you witness the events that lead up to their deaths and then recruit them. It's quite a unique idea, as well as the gameplay.

Emultation of Valkyrie Profile failed miserably, since there seems to be a perhaps intentional software design that breaks the emulation at the very beginning. So I started a quest to find the game online for cheap (as opposed to eBay's usual $100+ price tag). I eventually found it from someone who may not have known the value of what he was selling, but in the end I got the game for a reasonable $10! We finished that game, and I said to Kyra, "We should really watch Wagner's Ring Cycle [a series of operas], since these games are based on it." Kyra replied, "No, that will be too boring."

Well, to our amazement, a few weeks later, PBS aired the Met's production of the Wagner's Ring Cycle, and we were floored. The stage design is simply amazing, and it really allows for the set to express a great deal of emotion. Seriously, it's incredibly unique, and you just have to see it: here's a sampling of staging designs.

We watched a little of each opera except for the last and were simply entranced. We had to buy the DVDs and watch the whole thing. Since the operas are so long, it wasn't practical for us to start watching before the kids were in bed and stay up so late to finish it. Further, one or the other kid woke up, so one of us missed something on each broadcast. Still, thank you WPT for showing it! We would have never known about it!

Kyra eventually bought the DVD set for my birthday, and we're just getting around to watching it now. We have all but Götterdämmerung ("Twilight of the Gods") left. The series is fantastic. I highly recommend it for not only seasoned opera lovers (who I am not) and people who never thought twice about opera (basically me). It is amazing and possibly a "gateway" opera - Kyra is talking about watching other operas "just to see" if she's entranced by Wagner or the Met's production, or if she really does like opera.

(Oh, and now that I've watched Das Rheingold, the battle cry "Nibelung Valesti" from the Valkyrie Profile games makes a lot more sense. Essentially, it would mean "Worthy of the Nibelung" or "The Nibelung was Worthy" or something like that. Interestingly, Google Translate provides "Nibelung Founded" as the translation - perhaps it meant "Created by the Nibelung". The "Nibelung" is the dwarf Alberich who forged the Ring, and in the first game, Valkyrie is wearing the "Nibelungen Ring", and it is an important plot element to remove it. No, not that Ring. The original Ring.)

Additionally, for Christmas, LP and Nick got me a book called "Mozart in the Jungle" - about classical music and drugs, apparently. On page 2 of the prologue, two guys are doing drugs and talking about Siegfried, the 3rd opera in the Ring Cycle. One of the guys says something like, "They think Star Wars made up this stuff - it's just Siegfried, man!" Further, I started playing a game series called Shadow Hearts, and in game 2, one of the characters oddly enough learns new sword moves by reviewing scenes from Wagner's Ring Cycle that the character finds randomly lying around!

All in all, this is a bizarre series of events all closely related to one monumental cultural touchstone, and it's just strange!

Oh, and one other thing, The Lord of the Rings is all ripped off of The Ring Cycle!!! (More about that later.)

My Beautiful Boy

The first post I ever wrote contained the following quote:

"Life is what happens when you're busy making other plans."

I had no idea where the quote came from, but I thought it appropriate for the situation my then boyfriend and I found ourselves in. It wasn't until our friend Carla presented us with a compilation of her favorite songs for Luca's first Christmas present. As it turns out, it comes from the song "Beautiful Boy" by John Lennon. I couldn't think of a more appropriate way to commemorate Luca's second birthday than with this song.

Beautiful Luca

Happy birthday, my beautiful, beautiful boy.

The Vowel Song

I made up a song, The Vowel Song, sung to a tune from Final Fantasy X - the Song of Prayer. Here is an example:

Song of Prayer - Ifrit

I made up the song while I was playing the game a few months ago while Kyra watched. I wasn't sure what the words were, so I made up the tune so I could still sing it. Here are the lyrics, and it only lasts the first few phrases of the Song of Prayer:

A E I O--
U - - - -
I know my vowels
How 'bout you----?

It hasn't yet become useful in teaching vowels to Luca, but one day it might.

Dancing with a Baby

Kyra and I took Luca to a UWMBDA ballroom dance a few weeks ago. We put Luca in a carrier and danced a couple of dances with him. Here are some photos from the dance from our friend Carla.











That night we dance a waltz and a west-coast swing with Luca. We wouldn't dance certain dances with him, like swing/jive, quickstep, hustle, or other fast or "jumpy" dances. Those dances are too fast or have too much vertical movement to be safe for him or his brain. At any rate, it is possible to dance with a baby, so long as the dance is slow and the baby can hold his head up.

I also added some more photos to our Christmas Album.





These photos are from Carla's place. We went there just before Christmas to share presents and spend some time together. Her Christmas tree was very pretty, and Luca like to look at all the lights. He was a cute little present under the tree!

Purple-Hilted Sword

I wrote a song on the way to work this morning. It is about a video game called Legend of Zelda (official site), in which the hero wields a purple-hilted sword (the Master Sword). Here it is, sung to "Farmer in the Dell":

A purple-hilted sword,
A purple-hilted sword,
How do you fight with a purple-hilted sword?

That's it. Feel free to throw in some "heys" in between each line and a "wuss" at the end.

Pachelbel’s Canon and Fur Elise

Could two pieces of music be played so much to drive one mad? I hear more bad versions of Pachelbel's Canon and Fur Elise than I can tolerate! Luca's toys each have an irritating version of Fur Elise, one with a rock beat! Terrible!

At any rate, this video is similar to my experience with the far-too-overplayed Pachelbel's Canon. Enjoy!

Pachelbel Rant

Oh, and for the love of god, please stop buying my son devices that perform Fur Elise! Have mercy on my ears!

Viennese Waltz

You fill up my senses
like a night in the forest
like the mountains in springtime,
like a walk in the rain
like a storm in the desert,
like a sleepy blue ocean
you fill up my senses,
come fill me again.

Come let me love you,
let me give my life to you
let me drown in your laughter,
let me die in your arms
let me lay down beside you,
let me always be with you
come let me love you,
come love me again.

You fill up my senses
like a night in the forest
like the mountains in springtime,
like a walk in the rain
like a storm in the desert,
like a sleepy blue ocean
you fill up my senses,
come fill me again.

-- John Denver, Annie's Song

I love you, and I can't wait to Viennese Waltz with you again.

A Summer Tune

I love the music of Joe Hisaishi (home page, in Japanese/English). Here's a sample tune.

Summer, from Kikujiro

The composer has written music for some of my favorite movies, including Spirited Away and Princess Mononoke. This tune came from the movie Kikujiro, about a little boy looking for his mother. It brings tears to my eyes and I don't know why.